Supporting Women In Recovery
When a woman reaches out for help and comes to The Retreat, she finds herself in a warm embrace. This episode of Serenity Sit Down features a conversation between Father Jim and Chris Nehotte, the coordinator of The Retreat's women's recovery program. Chris shares her journey to The Retreat, emphasizing her commitment to the 12-step spiritual recovery model. She highlights the program's focus on spirituality, connection, and community, noting the support provided through steps, sponsorship, and a family program. Chris underscores the transformative power of the program and the unique aspects of women's recovery, while Father Jim appreciates the impact and hope The Retreat offers to those struggling with addiction. Tune in for more!
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Supporting Women In Recovery
Serenity Sit Down From The Retreat In Wayzata, Minnesota
Hello, everyone. Thank you for being with us. We're talking with Chris Nehotte, The Retreat Center’s Coordinator for Women's Recovery. Chris and I have talked for the last 20 minutes before starting the show. I've been very touched. If I have a tear in my eye already. I'm just going to allow this, to move on if I can but Chris asked, “Jimmy, could we just start it with a prayer?” I have at it, I just think that God moves things in mysterious ways. Please, Chris, I would be honored if you would do that. Throw it open.
Thank you, Father Jim.
I just wanted to take a moment to center myself and invite God into this space, this time that we have together. Asking his loving presence to guide my thoughts, my words, and my deeds, and just to allow this connection to transmit through our time together in the hope that it may bring a message of recovery to those that may read this. Thank you.
Thank you. Chris and I have been talking, earlier. Chris is the coordinator of The Retreat Center’s, Women's Recovery program that we have here. Chris, could you just share a little bit about how did you find yourself at The Retreat here in Wayzata?
Thank you, Jimmy. I have been here at The Retreat for a little over 8 years. I started as the Family Program Coordinator. I first came in contact with The Retreat through one of my 12-step groups. We would bring a meeting to The Retreat and have found my paths coordinating with different people who work at The Retreat through spiritual retreats, other conventions, and conferences. There was a position that opened up. Working in the Family Program. I was in a career transition myself.
I had reached out to the staff to learn more about that position and, was thrilled and honored when I was invited to become a part of The Retreat family here. I love connecting with retreat guests and family. Later, as a position became available here in the women's center, again, another opportunity was presented for me to connect and work more closely with the women here. Which I was thrilled. I love what I get to do each day to be more in the heart of the recovery that takes place, the transformation that takes place here. It's a beautiful thing that I get to witness every day.
The transformation that takes place at The Retreat is really a beautiful thing to witness each and every day.
The Retreat Women’s Program
I could see that and hear that in our conversations. What's unique about The Retreat Center model if I may be asked? What do you do in the women's unit? Help us understand a little bit about the women's program here.
Thank you for asking. What is unique about The Retreat is that we focus on the 12-step spiritual modality of recovery. Spirituality is the thing that we find is lacking, in our recovery. At the core of that spiritual nature is connection and that sense of belonging. I believe that when a woman reaches out for help and comes to The Retreat, she finds herself, in a warm embrace from the staff here that are greeting her.
Women In Recovery: When a woman reaches out for help and comes to The Retreat, she finds herself in a warm embrace.
The women who are also here are learning about these 12 spiritual exercises and how to implement them every day. We have volunteers that come in daily with the same intention of sharing their experience, how they recovered, to form a connection, to give them a connection for when they complete their stay here, they have a place to go. It's a beautiful model. It is just organic, natural, and transformative.
What you do here at The Retreat is a 12-Step Immersion Program if I may be as bold to talk about that. Could you explain what that would be more than a clinical program?
When a guest arrives at The Retreat, we as our core curriculum, study and read out of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, which is the basic text of 12-step recovery. We expect that the women will explore steps 1 through 8 during their stay and they also, practice steps 10, 11, and 12. We meet with them to talk about what is powerlessness, and what is feeling unmanageable.
We help them to identify a power outside of themselves that may be able to give them that connection and that vital source that they need to bring them further along in their recovery. Oftentimes, people have some spiritual blocks that are preventing them from connecting with something outside of themselves.
We are open to exploring, all ideas around connection. It starts oftentimes with women in recovery. It could be a group of women. It could also be nature. The Retreat is nestled in the big woods of Wayzata and the connection with nature abounds here. Oftentimes, women find a connection by going for walks and noticing nature. Clearing their minds and lifting their spirits. Oftentimes, people experience The Retreat and have feet on the grounds here.
They talk about the energy that they feel that's just already here. That can have a profound impact on opening someone's spirit to connect further in their program. We also encourage women to identify a temporary sponsor so that they have that connection before they complete their stay so that they already have somebody who's going to continue to support them in their growth.
Often when women, complete their stay, they have a list of lots of names and phone numbers of women that they've already met, conversed with, and feel comfortable with so that they have a community that's already available to them for when they leave here. Then, of course, we have a thriving alumni program here. We also have women in recovery and I'm also on the board. We offer a speaker series every other month, inviting women to talk about those areas that are helpful, spiritual, and emotional development.
How many women are effectually involved in your women's program here at The Retreat?
We can hold 31 women or have 31 women join our program at a time.
How many people from outside of the community will come? Do you have an evening program for them as well? It's not just a 30-day program for 30 women, but there's an outpatient program as well.
When a woman arrives here at The Retreat, we encourage her to commit to a minimum of 30 nights. We often have women extend. They can extend for an additional 30 or 60 days. However long they need to get the support they need to make that transition safely. We do have an evening program as well. It is a 12-week program. It meets here in Wayzata and also in Saint Paul. That is an additional layer of recovery to support them as they learn how to apply these 12 spiritual principles to everyday living.
Sponsorship
Sponsorship. Could we go deeper with this sponsorship? Could you explain a little bit about sponsorship as well as if I may ask intervention? How would you ask a family member to I know we're going to be speaking to a family coordinator in a little bit, but, how would you invite a young lady or mature woman to understand that they don't have to be held hostage by addiction or behavioral health issues and how The Retreat can help open them to a greater sense of joy.
We do encourage women to identify a sponsor. What a sponsor is, is it's somebody who has experience in working these steps successfully to overcome some of the challenges that are often there in recovery. We may find that relationships can be difficult for us. One of the things that The Retreat also offers is a Family Program. We know that anyone who is watching their loved ones struggle with this disease is also having thoughts and feelings around all of that.
We find that when those loved ones, when that number one support person is invited to be a part of this journey, both people benefit because now we can share the same language, we have a common understanding of what this disease is and we both have a focus on our recovery and how we can connect with each other around those recovery principles. It's not just one person getting well. It's how we can all get well together.
Thank you. Are stuck points different for men than women in terms of recovery?
That's an interesting question. Being a woman in recovery, I believe that the common denominator for all of us is we feel blocked from that connection. Connecting with anything outside of myself and that seems to be common with women and men. It's hard for me to identify if there are differences because I tend to look at the similarities.
Women In Recovery: The common denominator for all women in recovery is feeling blocked from connecting with anything outside of themselves.
Thank you for sharing that. I know that stuck points even in my recovery, I would isolate, and become insular but then in recovery, we become more family-orientated and have a sense of joy and connection and spiritual growth. There's no doubt. Are there any other things that you wish to talk about yourself, The Retreat, or your women's program that would be unique for the community to hear?
One of the things that I found to be remarkable in my recovery is that my higher power always showed up with skin on. He always brought someone into my circle that had a message or hope or a connection. Something that played a vital role in opening up a new understanding, a new awareness and I see that happening here at The Retreat all the time. Women here from both staff, from over 200 volunteers that come through our program on any given month. What they find is that attraction. That I want to be that person and how did you do that? Can you show me how? I think that's what makes this Thriving We Program powerful and transformative.
Thank you, Chris, for sharing your insights, your hope, and your joy with the community here at Serenity Sit Down. If I may as bold, if you or another loved one struggling with addiction or behavioral health issues, there is hope here at The Retreat and we are here to help you and to be present to you. For more information, you're welcome to visit The Retreat at www.TheRetreat.org or you're welcome to call us at (952) 476-0566. Again, we're here for you at The Retreat where there is hope and there is joy and full recovery. Again, Chris, thank you, for being the director, of our women's program here.
There is hope here at The Retreat, and we are here to help you.
Thank you, Father.
You make a difference in people's lives, and you offer hope and joy when sometimes there can be found none. Thank you for your joy and your shining eyes that give life.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
