Staying Connected In Recovery
Imagine losing everything to addiction, then discovering a path to not just recovery but a life filled with joy and purpose. Today’s conversation brings us the powerful story of Travis Heppner, the Alumni and Marketing Coordinator at The Retreat. Fr. Jim and Travis discuss how staying connected from the heart enhances a joyful journey to day-to-day recovery. An Alumni program can be the greatest contributor to recovery - sharing the ups and downs of craving and continuing on the path to joy. Today’s episode is a beacon of hope, a reminder that recovery is possible, and a life filled with love and joy awaits! Join Travis Heppner and be empowered by his story.
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Listen to the podcast here
Staying Connected In Recovery
Heart To Heart In Recovery
We are talking with Travis, The Retreat’s Alumni and Admissions Coordinator. Did I get that right, Travis?
Yes, you did.
What I'm doing with Travis and what we're doing here at The Retreat at Serenity Sit Down is talking about different things going on here at The Retreat. Why do we think that it's a significant place for recovery, opportunities for hope, healing, possibility, and more joyful living? Travis, tell me a little about how you found The Retreat.
Finding The Retreat
That's a great story on how I came to find The Retreat. It was during COVID, I lost my job and lost my team. We were furloughed and then completely let go. During that time, I was able to get a severance package and unemployment. I just found myself, stuck at home with too much time on my hands. I started drinking more every day and earlier in the day, and then it just became an unhealthy routine where I was going to the liquor store all day and I was trying to justify everything for it.
From the job loss to being stuck at home because of COVID. That just perpetually got worse, and the cycle got worse, as well. My family had intervened with me during this time, but I just brushed it off. I just said, “I'll be a good boy.” That maybe lasted just a month or two later. The catalyst event was that I was trying to show my wife that I could do good things at home and maintain the home while I was here with this time on my hands.
I was putting the dishes away and I had a glass coffee pot in my hand. As I was putting it away, it had shattered. I had cut my hand and the next thing I knew I was passed out in a pool of my blood. She found me that way, unfortunately. When I came to and woke up in my bedroom, I had 2 police officers and 2 paramedics over me, my wife, and my dad.
That fight or flight response kicked in. I want nothing to do with the police. I was a little confused and disoriented about what was going on, but my decision at that time was to go with the paramedics. I rode in the ambulance to the hospital. I was very belligerent and didn't want to be there, but that was my option for the time being.
While I was in the hospital, I was a little wrapped up in COVID conspiracy theories at the time, and I didn't want them to touch me. I said, “No. You just want to vaccinate me.” I tried escaping the hospital three times that evening. I did let them stitch up my hand but that was a big moment when I was hospitalized while going through all this and finding what my next step was. What am I what am I going to do?
The next day, another intervention took place. My stepmom's sister somehow was invited to this. I hadn't had much interaction with her before but come to find out, she'd been close to 40 years sober, and she knew exactly what to say to me. I'm grateful for her. She spoke to my soul and she said something along the lines of, “I'm sorry for your alcoholic mother and what she had done to you when you were younger.”
I was just perplexed. I was like, “What does that have to do with anything? What does that have to do with my current behavior, current situation, and current drinking?” That was a moment of surrender. I broke down. I was willing. I knew I needed help. There wasn't that internal struggle or fight about not going through with it and that's where I came to find that I was contemplating between an inpatient and outpatient program.
Outpatient during COVID which was all on Zoom. I deep down could not feel that I would remain sober at that time, pursuing that program. I didn't have insurance because I was let go. I was getting that bonus unemployment payment. I was making too much to qualify for a state program. That's where my dad had told me about The Retreat. He had seen the CEO and cofounder Mister John Curtis on a news program.
I believe the content of the news program was about how you deal with loved ones struggling during the pandemic, COVID. That was part of it, but that was that's where I came to find The Retreat. When I did a little of my research, I noticed that this is what I didn't know that I needed that I was looking for. I didn't know at the time that I needed more of a spiritual solution. I had gone to clinical treatment in the past, in my twenties, and I just wasn't ready to get sober at that time.
Some lingering effects for me is I don't like hospitals, obviously, because of those experiences of being in a hospital-based program. I was wanting to shy away from that. I had never really thought about giving AA or the 12 steps a chance. Another story, from my childhood, my mother being an alcoholic and going to AA meetings in the program. When I was a kid I would find her medallions. For me, that was not a sign of success but somehow in my little kid's mind, that was a sign of failure. My mom keeps drinking.
My mom keeps treating me this way. I somehow, at a young age, correlated her experience with AA that I did not want anything to do with it because it wasn't working for her. Pretty much as a kid mind, my whole life and drinking career, I just didn't want anything to do with AA because it didn't work for her in my mind and I never really gave it a shot. I never really gave it a try.
I appreciate that. That's a great reflection. Thank you very much. Could you explain what the medallion is? I think some people weren't aware of our 12-step program. What is a medallion?
The Medallion
When somebody is celebrating a sobriety birthday, whether that's one day, a month, or 90 days, all the way to every single year, you have a new sobriety birthday. When you hit that milestone at an AA meeting, you will receive the medallion for that amount of sobriety time that you have. That is celebrated and a huge part of the program. That's essentially what the medallions reflect. It was just interesting that my experience with the medallions was very different than what they stand for.
Staying Connected: You will receive the medallion for that amount of Sobriety time.
Could I ask how long is your medallion at this point?
My medallion, I just celebrated 3 years on January 28, 2024.
Thank you. Congratulations, my brother.
Thank you very much.
That's great. It's always touching when a medallion is presented, isn't it?
It is such an experience.
We had one we went to a meeting this morning where we celebrated birthdays, and some of the people were just a few months sober if I'm not mistaken. That's where our conversation could lead to alumni. Your work with the alumni, and could you explain what alumni are all about in terms of people in recovery at the retreat? What do you do differently? What's unique about The Retreat’s Alumni program?
The Retreat Alumni Program
Yes. What's very unique, I'm just grateful for being in that position of being able to support, meet our alumni, and try to drum up events and keep them connected with The Retreat, is the goal. I found myself that having this amount of sobriety, working here, and being involved with the people in the community, really is the secret sauce for how I've been able to continue in sobriety, and recovery, and be able to give that back.
What I would say is we have over 30,000 alums going back over 25 years. That is just something so special. Over the past few years of working here, almost daily I am introduced to someone new, whether in person, on the phone, or through different referrals. Just to try to grasp how massive this recovery community is and how everyone levels the playing field. We're all in the same boat. We all want the same thing. We're all here to pick each other up and support each other.
The recovery community is massive. We're all here to pick each other up and support each other.
For me being able to communicate with alumni and say, “You can come back for this meeting.” We are hosting these different events. We had recently just done a top golf event. We had over 60 people there. It was a great turnout and it was a lot of fun. That was a new thing. For me in this position, trying these new things, getting that feedback, strengthening the community, and hearing things like, “I didn't know I could live life having fun being sober and doing the things that maybe I haven't done before. Doing it in a way that I'm enjoying myself. I feel authentic.”
There's just so many stories out there. Whenever I have the chance, I'm able to meet with the guests and present to them on this very topic, the importance of staying connected. I empower them. I say, “You are special by coming through this program. I'm empowering you to carry that message of hope. Share your experience, strength, and hope here at The Retreat and what your recovery looks like.”I think that's just a special level of recognition and gratitude that maybe you haven't got anywhere else in your life.
It is just a special feeling and moment to bring this thing together. It's a new life. It's recovery and that alumni community is just thriving and is just so grateful. Being a great source of referrals and sharing with others who are struggling. Carrying the message and talking about their experience here at The Retreat and how it had done wonders in their life. I'm a testament to that as well. The more you hear that, the more alumni are created and this network is just so fantastic.
That's one of the unique perspectives here at The Retreat if I'm not mistaken. You have alumni or people who are in long-term recovery come and speak to those guests. I think that's another thing that I've been taken aback by. You don't have clients here. You have guests here. It's a recovering community supporting a recovering community. The alumni with experience, come back in and they share their story often on how to do step work. Is that correct?
That is correct. They're able to come back and do exactly that. Share their story. They get to be a chapel speaker. They get to meet with the guests. The Retreat is a supportive educational model and being able to just have that community feel and we're all in this together. The alumni can come back, help with step work, and listen to the 5th steps. It's just great that the love and service continue and time flies, I tell you. I can't believe it's been 3 years.
Tell me a little bit about the service.
Service is key to my sobriety and I'd say that to a lot of people, sobriety. That's one of the things we like to offer here for our alumni. In addition to all the fun events that we're doing, we like to extend our service opportunities. Things like being volunteer drivers, picking people up from the airport or detox, and coming back to The Retreat to share their experience, strength, and hope in those meetings with the guests.
We have a big population that goes on for sober living and we loop them into the alumni community as well. We're in the process of amping up our Alumni Ambassador program. Which is alumni from The Retreat who are spread out across all the states and the country. We're looking at certain areas where we've had a lot of alumni that we create our chapters there and replicate things like the Breakfast Club that we do.
We have a big population that goes on for sober living and loop them into the Alumni Community as well.
Bring it to other cities, and areas and just try to keep people connected with the AA community and The Retreat community when we see fit. That's currently in the works and a big goal of mine is to get these alumni ambassadors who represent The Retreat program, who are those bright lights that represent The Retreat well.
We had a breakfast meeting this morning. Could you share a little bit about that? How many people were there? What was the presenter? What was the purpose of that gathering this morning other than a free breakfast for me?
The Breakfast Club
The breakfast club is held every third Thursday of the month at the University Club in Saint Paul. It's a very nice venue. We've been doing that for a long time. Then we have a different guest speaker who typically is an alum or is connected with their retreat somehow. We also have a pre-speaker, we call the 3-Minute Speaker, who is an alum or someone from sober living. Today, it was a gal from our Women's Home. She did well for the 3 minutes that she had.
She had three minutes right to the spot and it was great.
She was excellent. As far as what it looks like, there's about over 100 people who come to The Breakfast Club. A free breakfast is included, it's just a great way to start your day and see some familiar faces. Having events like that seems to work well. We get the monthly announcements from John and the different departments on what's happening at The Retreat. That just continues to keep people connected. It's early so we also offer it virtually as well and we can extend that to our alumni who are across the country and want to get up early and partake. That's adding another couple dozen on that Zoom as well. It's a lovely event and yes, that was this morning.
That was delightful. Anything else that you think would be important for our community that's reading this to know about alumni and why it's important as a referral source, as coordinating, and even for people who are struggling? Some people call it relapsing, but also a recurrence. I often call it a recurrence, to understand that The Retreat is here for people even when they struggle. You had shared your story that you came here after you struggled for a bit. Why this place and why the alumni would be of value to people?
I would say for me, I didn't know what I needed. I was I was vulnerable. I was in a rock bottom-ish spot when a lot of people decided to get help. I would just say, to be open to options. Be open to recovery. Be open to the 12 steps. Immerse yourself in the community. Let down your ego. Listen to what they tell you to do. Do work the steps and you get that opportunity here at The Retreat.
Staying Connected: Be open to options and recovery. Be open to the 12 steps and immerse yourself in the community.
I remember coming through the program and saying that if I don't do a 4th and 5th step, I'm not doing this correctly. For me, that was a big hurdle. I said, “I want to do this correctly. I want to do this right.” That 4th and 5th step experience here at The Retreat is so huge. I would just give everyone a heads-up that that is something to look forward to.
It's a it's a gamut of emotions that you go through but it was something, again, I didn't know I needed. That opened me up and shone a different light in my life. To speak to the alumni, I hear stories. I see stories all the time of those picking and lifting each other. Being part of this community, it's like me as the alumni coordinator, I don't always necessarily have to do the heavy lifting.
To have just such a group and community of people you can call upon, whether in this sober home or this meeting or this event or this area, all these different factors. I have an alum who I can reach out to who is more than happy to help others in need. Coordinating that connection, It is amazing when some of these things just come together. I never foresaw this. Time and time again, this caring community of alumni is there for one another. I'm just always awestruck by that.
Could you just share a little bit? You talked about earlier, family. I saw with you just a sense of joy about your family. Could you share with our community online? You talked about your struggle. You're falling down and you're getting back up time and time again. Share the joyful moments if you would, for us.
The Spiritual Awakening
This will be my spiritual awakening or my spiritual moment. My wife and I had been married for about 5 years before I came to The Retreat. During those 5 years, we, unfortunately, suffered 4 miscarriages. It was a very tough time for us. The shame and blame led to more destruction and drinking.
The highlight of my recovery and story is that 9 months after I came through The Retreats residential program, we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy. His name is Henrik. He's now 2 years and 6 months old. One of his nicknames is, The Retreat Baby. I think John Curtis likes that. He called him The Retreat Baby so he could be a new mascot or something.
I see him, being a father now, and every day that is such a huge inspiration. I feel that he is here because of my recovery and my sobriety. The family life is great and he's a little reminder every single day. He is such a blessing. That's God's calling. That's God's proof right there, for me. I'm just still always, taken aback by that. It's just amazing. There is power in this.
Thank you very much. We just met. Wasn't it yesterday, Travis?
A day or two ago.
A day or so ago. It's always a joy seeing and visiting with the staff here at The Retreat. Just quality, quantity and I would just say just its deep sense of depth and compassion. Travis, thank you very much for being here at The Retreat. Thank you for saving lives. That's what you and the staff do here at The Retreat. Again, Travis is The Retreat Alumni and Admissions Coordinator, here at The Retreat. This is Father Jim, your host.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, there is hope, there is happiness, and there is joy in recovery. The Retreat can help. For information about what goes on here at The Retreat, visit www.TheRetreat.org or you're welcome to call (952) 476-0566. Welcome to our show. Other shows are coming this Serenity Sit Down presented by The Retreat in Wayzata, Minnesota. I'm your humble host, Father Jim. Thank you very much. Stay well and stay happy.
Important Links
Travis Heppner - LinkedIn
